UWS family suffers waterpark overexposure; father questioned

An Upper West Side family of four was rushed into emergency detox after being exposed to dangerously high levels of water and sunshine over a period of multiple months. According to police, the tragedy came to light when two children, ages 15 and 12, complained repeatedly about not being able to "just stay home and be on the computer." The wife corroborated their story, revealing that her husband had purchased family season passes to two waterparks, then forced them to go every weekend in order to "get their money's worth." "It's a tragic situation," said a spokesperson for the Computer Gaming Association." A Netflix official agreed: "No one should have to endure a horrible ordeal like this." The man could not be reached for comment, as he had reportedly fled with his family to an indoor waterpark resort in Wisconsin for the holidays.

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